


Sounds of the Past

by SuperQatarGirl



Series: Watcher of the Living Lands [1]
Category: Pillars of Eternity
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Introspection, Light Angst, Lion Companion, Nostalgia, Singing, Thinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-10-11 10:18:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17445017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperQatarGirl/pseuds/SuperQatarGirl
Summary: An exhausted ranger sits by the campfire and contemplates his life, present and past.





	Sounds of the Past

Another day done, another camp set up to mark the end. Ninleyn felt his eyelids drooping as they had done most every day since this all began, since his… awakening. He still didn’t like that word, it still made him shudder. He was two people in here, not as literally as Aloth and Iselmyr were it, thank the gods, but in some ways he suspected his own predicament was worse.

He’d stayed awake many a night – for fear of sleep and the internal wrestling it was bound to bring or from having woken from such a wrestle, screaming, thrashing, bathed in his own sweat, it didn’t matter – and had observed the rest in their slumber. They slept as peacefully as could be expected of travellers on the road, Aloth included. Ninleyn envied the fellow wood elf that ability more often than not, for though Iselmyr troubled him during the day, at least at night, they were at peace.

But, now was not the time to think about that sort of thing, he could smell dinner cooking and judging by the smell it was Pallegina’s turn at the fire. Good, he couldn’t stand another moment of Edér’s stews. Ninleyn got up from the ground, patting Kharis gently between the shoulders as he went to socialise as best he could in his current state.

Aloth was the first to notice his approach, as he always seemed to be, followed quickly by Edér looking up and giving a bright smile, smoking pipe hanging out of the side of his mouth. The hunter smiled back as best he could, but drooping eyelids and heavy, dark bags under his eyes made it all terribly unconvincing, he knew. He sat down closest by the fire, soon hearing the sound of Kharis padding over to lie behind his back as was their way, and found himself slowly being lulled to sleep by the sounds of the little camp; Aloth quickly and quietly turning pages in his grimoire; Edér polishing his shield as best he could with what few supplies were available to them, Pallegina working over the pot on the fire – the meal smelt more like roast boar by the minute –, adding spices she found prudent as she went along; Durance in his own corner, grumbling something nobody cared to decipher, though probably either cursing or praying to “the whore”; and finally, Kana fiddling with an instrument he had found on their last visit to the Defiance Bay market.

From what little Ninleyn knew of music, it sounded like Kana was tuning the instrument to be just so, a process the hunter had observed the occasional bard go through when he was a child. He’d never understood music much, but knew that he enjoyed it, knew from other people’s accounts that he had quite the talent. Perhaps if he had been born somewhere else, to different parents he would have become a chanter, like Kana. Perhaps he had been, in another lifetime, and that thought alone sent his eyes flying open again and straightened his back. Nobody really seemed to notice this time, and Ninleyn let out a deep breath at it; he troubled the rest of them enough as it was. He felt Kharis nudge at him gently, and turned to tenderly gaze at the lion, his golden eyes locking with his companion’s warm brown. The hunter leaned down carefully until his forehead touched the lion’s and he could feel the beast’s warm breath on him. 

“I’m alright. Promise,” was all he said, calmly and with all the charm he could manage, but the cat seemed unconvinced and growled gently. Ninleyn could only chuckle quietly to himself before he sat upright once more and took a deep breath; oh, he needed that.

A few deep breaths later and Pallegina announced that dinner was ready – “finally”, as Edér was heard mumbling – and all the group went up to rip a piece from the now confirmed roast boar. Aloth seemed hesitant to put his hands near the carcass, or maybe he was simply afraid of burning his fingers on the pot, so as Ninleyn went up to get his and Kharis’ pieces, he ripped an extra part – one of the front legs – and approached the log Kana and Pallegina had pulled over earlier. The wizard flinched a bit at the hunter’s approach, and Ninleyn could only chuckle good-naturedly, bringing forth an embarrassed little laugh from the Aedyran as he accepted the leg of boar with a quiet “thank you”.

Ninleyn slowly sat down beside Aloth, giving the other man time to express any displeasure at the arrangement, but found himself greeted by an unusually pleased and nearly cheerful smile, one he attempted to reciprocate. They were both silent as they ate, both seemingly content to listen to the rest of the group chatter – well, except for Durance, who only ever really spoke to Ninleyn anyway and usually not at camp if he could avoid it. Kana seemed very enthused about an old lullaby Pallegina had mentioned and seemed eager for her to sing it for them, now seemed the perfect time for it!

She sang, reluctantly, and Ninleyn struggled very much to not verbally compare her to a songbird. It was a very nice song, he had to admit and again he found staying awake to be a difficult task. Kana applauded enthusiastically and the loud clapping snapped Ninleyn out of yet another sleepy trance. Soon, they were all taking turns to sing – except, again, Durance; nobody wanted to ask him or to hear him sing – and when the Watcher’s turn finally came, he didn’t really know what to do. Pallegina had sung her lullaby, Kana had started on some epic poem, though he managed to reel himself in after the first five verses were sung, Edér had sung what sounded like a tavern song, perhaps his favourite, and Aloth had decided on an old Aedyran folk song he only seemed to know halfway.

But despite his indecisiveness, Ninleyn found himself singing a song from his old village, a song he would always hear the girls sing as they performed their tasks. It was a song that he had no real name for, but that, if asked, he might call “My Own Home”. The words came to his voice before his mind and it soothed him more than even Pallegina’s lullaby had. When he ended, he realised his eyes had closed in the short while the song had lasted. Gods, his own singing had nearly put him to sleep! Or perhaps it was the memory of the girls singing as they went to collect water in the nearby river, as they hung up clothes to dry, watched their younger siblings play. That thought could wait, he decided, as he observed the band of people that had managed to form around him.

They all looked at him with surprised eyes, one or two even had their mouths agape and suddenly Ninleyn felt rather unsure of himself, self-conscious in a way he had never really been. It wasn’t until Kana rather loudly pronounced how magnificent the song had been and demanded to know where the Watcher knew it from that everybody seemed to relax and return to reality. Another deep breath and Ninleyn fell into the conversation easily enough, telling about his old village with every ounce of vividness he could muster: the sights, the smells, the sounds – especially the sounds. And it helped to calm him. Perhaps, tonight, he would sleep at least a little better.


End file.
